Two thousand and eight… What a year, eh? In fact, it’s flown by. I remember this time last year writing the annual round-up of two thousand and seven; and it’s crazy to think of what has happened, been achieved and done since that post.
In fact, it’s crazy to think about it all.
For me, I think this year has thus far in my short life, has quite possibly been the best. Now, that’s not to say there has been a lot of the usual turmoil, and crappiness, anger, conflict and the rest… In fact I think all of that has been on the rise too. But I’m not one to ponder over the bad; it’s what we do too much as a population of people. We seldom reflect upon the good, and even if you look at what we remember nationally, we remember War, Death, Unhappiness, and times that we should move on forward from with better knowledge. I don’t want to remember the bad, so instead I’ll look at the highlights of this year.
Well, I think the single most outstanding point has to be August 21st, also known as Results Day! The GCSE’s had for two years been the prime focus of many of my ramblings and rants, and this single day, well even just a moment was going to be the end all and be all of it. I’ll admit, I was so scared, and I remember waking up in the morning, watching the News to hear someone who had got like ten A*’s and he didn’t even smile! I was dreading to find out how I had proved myself to remain to be that helpless and hapless little six year old in Learning Support that I was. I dreaded to find out whether everything I want to achieve, and wanted to be would end by the print on a piece of paper. I dreaded being a failure to myself.
Needless to say, all of that worrying was just plain worry. Yes, the results day was a highlight; and it was also very emotional. When I phoned up my Mum, I was standing just outside the school doors, and I was talking to her, and I burst out crying! It was crazy, but brilliant. And then of course I had quite a few people following my Twitter updates (which are also hooked up to Facebook), and I got some very nice messages from a lot of the people from Mobile Industry Review, and their readers.
What I think made me happiest was not knowing that I had passed it all, but I had gone beyond the expectations of myself and others. It was only a couple of years ago that I was very nearly on the brink of leaving School altogether; I had been idiotic in a lot of my behaviour, I was horrible to members of staff, horrible to my peers, and horrible to myself. Every Academic Tutoring my Form Tutor would make the comment “I’m very concerned/worried for you Samantha”, and even in Year Eight, my grades and what I was achieving was minimal to say the least. The SAT’s well, what did I care? I was all too prepared to say farewell to school, and for me, there was nothing to look forward to. For me, it was a good feeling to prove to those both in School, and out of School that I was worth their effort, and in a way, sorry to those who I had let-down in the past… If that makes any sense.
Secondly, this Summer.
Now usually my Summer holidays are filled up with immense boredom. I hate the Summer breaks, I hate having so much unplanned time on my hands; and I generally don’t do well with using the time I have properly. This year however I found a brilliant group of people to spend the extended amount of time with; and oh, didn’t we have fun!
More importantly, I’ve got a brilliant new group of friends; all of whom are unique and completely crazy in their own way, but utterly brilliant. What’s more is that they can all individually make me laugh in their own separate ways, the naughtiness of Jess, the off the wall’ness of Louise, the complete randomness of Izzy, the voice impersonations from Camille, that crazy world that exists only in Violet’s head, the useful insights of Rachel, and Joe… He doesn’t need to do anything to make me laugh!
In fact it’s a realisation of another mistake on my behalf that I never really bothered to get to know this group of people before; but then again, who’s to say it would have turned out in the same way?
So yes, thanks Jess, Louise, Camille, Izzy, Violet, Rachel and Joe for making my Summer the highlight of the year… I couldn’t have come across a better group of people to spend it with.
Thirdly, and this really had to come in somewhere, writing. Now for some people (namely Owen B), my slight addiction to blogging and crazed ramblings and rants are something of a novelty. For others, I’m sure they are just excuses to waste time on the internet, and possibly avoid doing Homework or something else more important; but for me they are a release. For me, just having a platform to voice just a few of those voices in my head (no I’m not crazy), just keeps me going. I’m a firm believer that individually we often don’t do enough for ourselves, and for a lot of our lives we bottle up our feelings, the woes and highs of life; and eventually we get bogged down. I’m also a believer that we should express our opinions - and that I do quite often as you may know. The point is, is that we should utilise the internet for more than just checking to see what’s happening on Facebook. In times when we’re in doubt, and globally, nationally, or even within a community something needs to be done then we use what we have available to us effectively.
As for writing just for ourselves… Well, why not? I write for more that I do in my Blogs; in fact I think my weekly Blog accounts for something of just under a quarter of my weekly writings to myself. But even so, I never, ever expected my Blog (of all things), to gain me a Job! And for that, I’m happy. But even more so, is that I’ve got a bloody cool Job (even if I do say so myself), and I feel somewhat privileged to have it. I know for a matter of fact there are far better people out there suited for writing a weekly column on Mobile Phones, and I know there are people much wiser and far better with words than I, who could probably execute it off a lot better than I can too.
Never fear though, I’ll be back in two thousand and nine… So there’ll still be something to keep you mildly amused during those moments of extreme boredom, or work-evasion!
Finally, Sixth Form!
Well, for quite a long time I never imagined reaching Sixth Form, for a number of reasons. The point is though, I’m here! I’m not exactly passing everything at the moment, but that is going to change; but for me, as long as I am happy, and I’m doing subjects I want to do, I have teachers who are utterly amazing at what they do (par telling me I haven’t got a brain… That really doesn’t bode well with me); I couldn’t be happier.
Plus, I think the whole mix of people we have in the Sixth Form is brilliant. The people who left at the end of last year are gone, and yes I miss some people, but we all move on. And in some ways I think for some, and at least for me, for some people to just be “gone” was what was needed; and now I can move on to be a better and slightly different person although still keeping to my own values. And with the absence of some people it has also enabled different groups to intermingle - which can only be a good thing - and also for some people to become more relaxed and open.
Not forgetting either the “new arrivals” we had this year. Jemma, Danny, Amber, Cassie and even “Stephen” (please no comments on that please Joe, Owen, or anyone else), have been brilliant; and I’ve got to meet some interesting new people. I can only hope that next year I can get to know them that much better!
On some final notes then. Well this year I’ve read over thirty-five books (over thirty of which were read by March 2008); I’ve been in trouble with the ol’ Sluggy for writing certain things about him (oh dear, what a shame!), I’ve come to realise that I’m most likely going to become a teacher at some point in my life; I’ve been dubbed the “Sam Learning Queen” not only in front of all of my Peers during Assembly, no… But also infront of all of my Peers and their Parents at the GCSE Certificate Evening. I should also add, that I also spent something like one hundred and eighteen hours on Sam Learning (hence the name) (and I don’t agree that every ten hours bumps you up a grade, otherwise I would have got a lot higher grades than I did). I’ve also joined more extra-curricular activities since the start of this Academic Year, than I have in my entire life (and that’s the truth, as I was once in the Choir in year four, and that’s the only thing I’ve ever done, seeing as I’m not the sportiest of people known-to-man-kind). And to top it all off, I now wear glasses!
Anyways, I do not doubt for a second that next year will be as equally as brilliant, if not better. Hopefully a trip to Spain, more dreaded exams, and turning eighteen (ahh, that makes me feel old), it’s going to be good. Also, I think I should start taking driving lessons too.
Well, I think I’ll leave this blog at that for now. I know already that this has to be one of the longest posts I have ever quite probably ever made; but at least I didn’t start crying like I did when I wrote last year’s one!
Happy New Year!
Samantha.
(http://www.thesamantha.co.nr)
Not for another year do I have to endure the madness and horrificness that is Christmas! I’m so glad it’s all finally over; and in a couple of days time, all the Music Channels will stop witht he non-stop loop of Christmas Cheese in the form of music, and I can return to listening to the normal drones that occupy most of the air-time!
I can’t even wait until the bloody Christmas tree can come down! To be fair, the damn thing did only go up on Christmas eve, around six in the evening (again); but even so… I hate it. There really is no point to the thing, and as far as I’m concerned it’s just a waste of electricity, time, space, and money. Plus, I’m the one who has to get it in and out of the bloody garage; which is easier said than done! Although, my Mum did find it highly amusing seeing me perform some badly executed gymnastics in order to get to the back of the garage which of course the tree had been placed.
This week however, has been good. Admittedly I haven’t done much or should I say, any revision whatsoever; and I feel so bad. I mean, just writing about it, has caused the onset of the “guilty stomach-ache” which we’re all prone to, from time to time. I know I should, and really, I know I have to! I cannot and will not cock up my exams, but as far as my revision time-table has gone, I don’t know if that is going to happen.
But I have had fun though. On Tuesday fourteen of us went up to London (and scared a lot of Londoners and Tourists presumably), and saw the top of London from the London Eye. It was pretty amazing! I was also down Oxford Street at one point offering “Free Hugs” to anyone who walked past. For some bizarre reason best known to itself, I only managed to get one hug; and that I think was offered because the man felt sorry for me! He must’ve thought I had escaped the local loony bin, or that I had got severely desperate or something. Oh well, it was fun! And I got more hugs than Callum managed to get!
When I returned from London at about half nine in the evening, I came home to my Mum who thought she had broken her hand, and to be honest it looked pretty bad. So I made her go to Hospital, and I welcomed in Christmas Eve sitting in St. Helier Hospital in the X-Ray department. Now, I would say it was crap, because firstly Hospitals are crap, and St. Helier really cannot be beaten for pure dreadfulness; but in the X-Ray department was this woman, with her son and his girfriend. Now this woman, despite being in a wheelchair, and being taken into hospital in an Ambulance was brilliant! She was the livliest person out of all five of us in the empty Hospital wing, and she had us all in stitches! It was the single best experience I’ve had in a Hospital ever, and I actually enjoyed myself being there! Anyways, I hope she is alright!
Christmas itself wasn’t that bad… Well, it could have been worse, and I was sure at many moments that all hell was about to break loose. Thankfully, it didn’t! My Mum bought me some books (even though I told her not to get me anything), so after I have done my Biology and Chemistry exams, I’m promising to allow myself to devote some time to reading them. Plus, I have a massive urge just to sit and read for a day, and now that I have built up a collection of about eight books that I have, but haven’t read yet, I have lots to enjoy! Although, I’m really tempted to start Jeremy Clarkson’s new book… Just the “Dedications” page has me hooked with:
“This is dedicated with gratitude to the Green Movement, the Americans and the Health and Safety Executive for giving me so much to write about.”
You know it’s going to be good, don’t you?
Other than that, nothing else has really happened this week. Boxing Day was spent lazing around the house, but I did manage to fix the Washing Machine (forget Calgon, all you need is me!), I set up the new home phones, I hung up a mirror, and I did something else… But I forget what it is now!
Also this week, I’ve finally began to recognise how once again another mobile phone of mine is beginning to see the light… And that doesn’t mean it’s got a good idea. I think it’s knackered! I’m not receiving text messages, it doesn’t allow me to make phone calls (only when it decides), it doesn’t like to ring or even notify me when someone has rung me, and say on the off-chance it does ring, well then I can’t hear the other person, as the speaker seems to have gone for a walk too! And once again, I’ve done my rounds on the usual, Carphone, Phones4U, I’ve even looked into Orange and Vodafone online stores, but nope, nothing! For a multi-million pound industry, the choice avaliable for a good, usable mobile phone is poor! I’ll save this rant for work I think!
Anyways, I think I’ll leave this blog at that. I want to go to bed, and watch a DVD! I think I’ll watch the second part of the Channel Four version of Elizabeth (which I bought for myself as a present). There will definately be a Blog on New Year’s Eve (as always). For some reason, I keep thinking about writing it all the time, so expect it to be the nice long one!
Thanks,
Samantha.
(http://www.thesmantha.co.nr)
“It’s been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will”
Quite possibly song of the week, if not the year; and it’s not even a new song. I heard it for the first time during History this week, and it’s very poignant, so much so, I was beginning to well up in class.
In fact it’s been like that all this week. I don’t know what it is, hormones, or just things which I can express on here; but it’s all gotten to me this week. I feel like a concoction of deadly emotions that are about to go “BANG” at any moment. It was worst on Thursday though, where even the previous day’s good news couldn’t uplift my spirits.
I had that feeling where I needed to cry, and even though at home and the night before I felt the same and I tried to, I just couldn’t. It was horrible and just knowing certain things, and feeling an absence within me like I did, and do, just didn’t make anything better.
The lyrics above though, symbolise something… Hopefully. I really cannot stand being like this; and I know I said it in my last Blog, but when it gets to the point where I can’t even cry and then feel better, I’m at a loss.
I actually spent a free lesson given to my Chemistry class by our teacher (we had just done a mock, and he wanted to get them all marked in under twenty-four hours), I sat in the Sixth Form Common Room; zoned out, on the edge of tears, writing to myself. And before I came up with that plan, I spent about fifteen minutes aimlessly wandering around the school, in search of something, or somewhere where I could be and feel good.
I know it sounds crazy, but it’s not; well actually maybe it is. I just hope I can find a way to elevate my mood, and myself, and just forget what it is that is making me feel like complete crap – even though within me, to do that, it would be even worse.
Why do humans have to be so bloody complex?
As for the rest of the week; well you get the feeling when it’s the last week of term that teachers have had enough… The DVD’s come out in their dozens – not that I mind. For me, it’s always an odd feeling at the end of term; like I know I need a break, and I need some time just to catch-up, and regain sleep, and whatnot, yet at the same time and I know this sounds completely weird too, but I feel oddly secure, and happy at school. It’s a kind of happy that I feel within, and it keeps me going; and the security makes me feel that there is a glimpse of something to look forward to.
So when it comes to the end of term I have this feeling of happiness, but also a huge sense of a loss, which I feel simultaneously. And then when I get home and realise “that’s it”, I start to think about when I can go back. I feel institutionalised, even though it isn’t that; it’s something that I could go into explaining and bore the death out of anyone with.
Along with the end of term, a special assembly was called this week. Now I expected it to be just a normal lecture about something to do with the cleanliness of the Common Room, or something. Oh, how I was wrong!
It appears that Sluggy will be no more at my School. Now this came as a massive shock; and although I felt a little sad to hear that it was going, the relief was beyond doubt. I know not everyone shares my happiness, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions; but for me, it couldn’t be better. Now I could say why, and go on a bit of a ramble about that now; but I’ve learnt my lessons – hence Sluggy being the name being referred to here. But I hope more than anything the Governors at the School will realise what it is our school needs now.
I won’t divulge into that anymore, as I fear I’ll get too carried away, and once again say something that may come back to haunt me; not that I have any regrets about making some certain comments, I spoke truth from my own perspective, and as far as I found out, I wasn’t that wrong either. But once again, I’ll shut up!
In other news, I still haven’t got a bed, nor even had my bed taken away from me. I’m not even going to bother to lecture about IKEA, because I could be here all night finding yet another thing that they have failed to put right.
I’ve actually taken my bed apart, and gone back to sleeping on my mattress on my floor – which I had been doing for ten months previous to my expedition to IKEA, and I hated it – but it’s so nice! I’m not a bed-sharing person; sleep is something I tend to enjoy best by myself. Although saying that, I have had some of the best night’s sleep whilst at sleep-over’s sharing like a fifth of someone’s bed with four other people. I suppose it all depends; but all that matters now is that I have my bed back!
Next week should be relatively okay; well forgetting Christmas day that is. On Monday I’m going to buy my Mum some perfume, I know she likes that. On Tuesday I’m up to London to go on the London Eye! I’m quite excited, and hopefully it’ll be brilliant!
Anyways, I actually should be revising right now. I’ve kind of dithered from my time-table which is stuck on the wall in front of me; and it’s a guilty reminder of what it is that I haven’t done. I also need to write in all my Biology revision I need to do; I haven’t really made a start on that yet.
Oops.
I’ll no doubt update during the week, and have a moan about something or another… I already have something in mind!
Enjoy,
Samantha.
(http://www.thesamantha.co.nr)
December 12th, 2008 Pensive.
Well this week - to make a change - has had some relatively note worthy highlights - or should that be low-lights? - to it.
I spent hours; literally around five and half hours putting together a bed I bought from IKEA, only to find out that the people who designed the wretched thing have failed to realise a major flaw - the Slats fall through. Now admittedly at first I thought “Oh shit, my excessively sized arse has broken my new bed”; and with that in mind it automatically depressed me. After a lot of thinking, I concluded that couldn’t be the case as the actual slats fall through the bed; so I did some searching. Now apparently this has been happening all over the world with Ikea Beds, and it’s far from uncommon.
So I’ve phoned up Ikea, and I’m awaiting their response on my orders for them to come and dissemble the thing, take it away, and give me a full refund - including the thirty pound delivery charge that came along with it. I do hope - for their sake - that they think wisely and choose to do that, otherwise I will be extremely annoyed, and once I’m on a rant on the phone there really is no going back. I’ve had more than enough when it comes to companies pissing about with sloppy services.
Which brings me nicely on to Sky. They seem to have redeemed themselves today though after realising their catestrophic failures and plain rudeness; but it’s not the point. I was promised by the man who I spoke to on the phone to order the TV, Phone and Internet that I would have the internet on Tuesday 2nd December… Did that happen? Of course not, because the man lied to me, and to my Mum and Grandfather when he said he had placed the order; and yet was fully able to take bank account details to extort money.
I’ve had enough of it all; I’ve spent hours on the phone trying to sort out problems that other people have created. I didn’t cock up a Sky order, nor did I design a bed that doesn’t actually allow you to sleep on the thing; yet I have to phone up and sort it all out.
As for School, well the usual. Nothing particularly amazing; although I did gain a “D” in my Chemistry coursework! Not good really, but better than an “E”.
I get the sense now that the teachers are really just counting down the seconds until they can leave next Friday; it’s been a really long term, and with the onset of what appears to be chronic flu everywhere no one seems to be particularly sprightly.
As for me, I don’t want the holidays to come. I hate this time of year, I associate it with things that always seem to go wrong - the past couple of weeks a perfect example - and a series of other events that has occurred over the years. I seriously hate it; and the thought of not actually having School to take me away from it all, just depresses me even more. For me, there is no celebrating, and what’s worse is that I’m off School for two weeks when four days after I get back I have a Chemistry exam I am going to fail. Not good timing really?
As for the title of the Blog - I’ve been thinking. Now this isn’t my normal “mind rant” thinking; I’m actually too tired for that. I’ve come to realise I tend to offer advice to people quite a lot - I’ve always been one of those people who people just tell things too, and somehow I can help people with problems even though I’ve never encountered them myself - yet I don’t tell anyone anything.
Now it’s all happy and good for me to say to my friends and to anyone really that they should do this, be doing that, thinking about something or not; yet when it comes to myself I just don’t do anything. I don’t take heed of my advice, and thinking about it, I really should.
I bog myself down with my own crap, my own thoughts and questions, things wish I could actually speak to people about, but yet never do… But I’m more than happy to say to someone else that they should go and speak to someone about what it is that is bothering or affecting them.
It’s hypocritical, and I hate it.
Even worse, I get into these moods, or states where I wonder about the possibilities of things; how if maybe I didn’t pussyfoot around people and pretend to be things which I’m not be it emotionally or whatever, then I would probably be a happier and generally nicer person… Then that horrible loner, reclusive side makes an unwelcome appearance and I’m back to my old boring self again.
See, I use the word “boring” to describe myself - other people describe me as boring - I’m bloody seventeen yet most people would assume I’m in my middle ages. I’m not a boring person really, I’m just too bloody reclusive, and private and I suppose fearful of people to be a fun person.
And that is such a horrible way to think of myself. I think about the person I could be - and within me, I am outgoing, I am cool, and I’m not so argumentative, and reserved; but that defensive side to me won’t allow me to be that.
How depressing… And you know what, I’m actually depressing myself at the moment too. I need a best friend, a confidante, someone; but even that’s an issue, I never let friends get to truly know me… No one has ever known my secrets, or any part of me that has any real depth or anything like that.
Hmm, before I start depressing myself even more, and realising that I’m going to wind up a lonely old spinster who just writes blogs as her only form or relief; I’ll leave it at this.
Samantha.
(http://www.thesamantha.co.nr)
I write essays to myself; and as I promised in my last blog that I was going to post one that amused me; so here it is!
Illogical Safety Measures:
I propose a question to all of you…
Why is it that within the EU and the UK the advertising of Cigarettes is banned on the TV, Radio and most types of media; yet alcohol isn’t?
Now this isn’t a stupid question, and nor is it one that has lacks any depth, because if you think about it, smoking and drinking alcohol are both bad for the human body. In fact, if you want to, you look at how both are bad for everyone.
Smoking costs the NHS a lot of money (seeing as it’s something like eleven thousand people die per year from smoking related illnesses); and even when people aren’t smoking from their stupid addiction money is being spent on getting people to stop smoking. So it’s a very costly habit for the taxpayer to maintain… But then again, isn’t alcohol?
Alcohol causes notably Liver damage (if not failure) which costs the NHS money; and if people aren’t damaging their livers, then they are probably falling over and injuring themselves… Or worst of all, behind the steering wheel of a car, and hurting themselves and others. Now, traffic accidents have the added cost of policing, and quite possibly the other service-people who need to be called out to cut people out of their smashed up cars.
Both Alcohol and Smoking are highly addictive and dangerous for the body; both habits are financially stupid to maintain, and both seem to (worryingly) have a high prominence in teenagers.
So why is it that smoking is deemed more dangerous, when alcohol is actually equally as dangerous, if not more?
It’s these types of thoughts that make me wonder, what logic does the EU or our own Government have? If you’re going to ban the advertising of dangerous, addictive and costly toxins such as cigarettes, why not target everything else? I mean, what is the point?
What’s the best thing about it all, is that for alcohol adverts to remain “ethically sound”, the companies behind them only have to include in the smallest possible font “Please drink responsibly” in the corner of the commercial for the whole advert to be justified. And if one was to think about this logically, if the companies behind these brands of alcohol wanted you to drink “responsibly” why on earth are they encouraging you to drink more by advertising their products?
As I said before, logic is severely lacking.
After this single mini-rant/essay to myself, I went on and wrote another. This one however is probably up to more interpretation, and I no doubt expect to hear or see someone disagree with me!
Freedom and Equality, can they exist together?
If we are to take this question in terms of politics; and Governmental regimes and social class, I can honestly say that I believe that the answer is a clear cut – NO. I’ll explain.
You see, in a Democracy the height of political freedom; everyone has the right to vote, we’re all individuals, and ideally anyone can move either up or down the social ladder; and to be fully free a free market too. Each and every single person has the freedom to be what they want to be, and generally do what they wants (bound within the limits of common law that is); and so with that we have a definition of freedom. Everyone is an individual, anyone can within certain limits do what they want, and anyone as the ability and capabilities to achieve and gain as much or as little as they want.
Now, if we look at this democracy we can see a couple of vital flaws; if it’s up to the individual, and up to the free market we can already see that equality will not exist. We will see sects of rich and wealthy; who will have their own towns, or areas populated with vast amounts of disposable income, lavish facilities, and primarily the best education, health and other services possible. At the other end of the scale one will see deprivation in not only money, but in education and basic common commodities. The ability to climb up the social and economical ladder is no where near as easy as described, because in order to do that one has to have the same levels of intellect and abilities as those in the upper class. In this freedom we will see class divisions which expand through every aspect of education, health, economy and family life.
Clearly equality does not exist here. Being equal to another person within the total population just will never happen; you’ll either be in the top, middle or bottom of the scale and it’ll be unlikely that one would mix with others outside their own class.
Then we have socialism or communism. The ideal here is equality, and here the Government is controlling itself. It sets out its own ideals for the people it represents (the mass population), and controls everything. Here we will see a closed economy; a system of wealth and class that defines everyone as the same. You will see that for the majority, living conditions will be the same (maybe not the best), but at least the same. Jobs will be controlled by the Government who will control the pay, and will not discriminate against class or social origin.
However as a result of this you will find dictatorship, mass interference between Government and economy, and the ability to make decisions on your own personal choice, and the choices you want open for your children or family severely limited. Not only that, but there will be heavy law enforcement, in order to ensure that no one betters themselves beyond the Government limits; whilst at the same time you’ll have an often corrupt and wealthy central collection of individuals who will take it upon themselves on how everyone who is politically inferior to them, will live, work and relax.
Obviously here, freedom does not exist; choice and desire is limited, and opportunities are made by the government, not by the individual.
Now what about a little of in-between, why can’t we mix these two ideals to get the best of both; to get and maintain freedom and equality?
Well because as I’ve just tried to explain, the lengths required to maintain or even to allow for each circumstance to occur are completely opposite. Whilst one relies on the least Government intervention as possible, the other requires complete governmental control. To have one we need an open, free economy, whilst the other is all strictly closed; and controlled mainly by than those who have not been elected at the top.
To have freedom we have to have the least intervention possible; we require a system which makes it possible for the individual to take it upon themselves to make decisions and act on them; they also need to have the power to elect who they want to make the decisions which represent the population as a whole. Oppositely, to have equality, freedom has to be quashed. To be free means that you can’t be equal, someone will always be better off, and worse off than you. There will be people who naturally progress better because of what they are born into, and then the cycle continues. Then for equality you require that no one is free because to be free means that you can’t be equal; so then you’re locked into a system that doesn’t allow for anything other than what is desired by those unelected few; who quite probably don’t represent their own people in the best possible way. The distribution of wealth will be equal, but poor. Money will remain in one place, but out of the hands of the actual mass population.
It is purely because of this, that I believe equality and freedom cannot coexist; and that in order to have one we have to naturally sacrifice another, or at least move one step towards socialism or communism or on the opposite end of the scale, democracy.
Never fear, I’ve actually written more this week (even though I should be revising), but you know; ranting and complaing is far more fun! So I think I will post my next one tomorrow!
Enjoy,
Samantha.
(http://www.thesamantha.co.nr)
It’s true, out of all the of the days of the week there are; Tuesday since as far back as I can remember has always been my least favourite day. Now this isn’t due to any particular reason, and certainly when I come to think of it, there really isn’t a plausible response as to why I don’t like Tuesdays, it just happens to be.
Today has been a usual Tuesday; boring.
I admit, as much as I groan and complain (and for some you’ll be fully aware of this), Monday’s are one of my favourite days of the week. It’s a new day, a new week, and I don’t know despite the Monday dreariness, I quite enjoy Mondays.
Then Tuesday bops along, offering its usual mix of nothingness, and gloom.
Today I have been hopelessly forgetful. For one, I totally forgot the layout of the timetable, I very nearly at ten past ten thought it was break. Now this usually wouldn’t be a problem, however at break time I had to go to Chemistry in order to get an experiment completed; so turning up twenty five minutes early and walking into my teachers’ class really wouldn’t have been good.
Then whilst doing said experiment, my mind refused to read the sheet properly, and I totally cocked everything up. I got a Conical Flask and a measuring beaker, and couldn’t work out how to wash out a Burette.
Finally, at the end of the day I dropped my glasses off the top of the lockers – thankfully they didn’t break – I left my bottle of water behind, and I realised whilst halfway home I had Chemistry Revision to attend. Now I need not remind anyone of my utter hopelessness that is my Chemistry Skills, and I need as much revision as I can get. So I walk back, then only to find that I’m not just the only one to attend, but it wasn’t really that important, as we’re doing the work the revision session covers in class tomorrow!
Bloody fantastic if you ask me!
Well, at least Monday was good as I finally got my bed delivered and built! It’s actually heaven to own a bed, especially when one has been “squatting” in her own room for over ten months!
The bed however, was by no means an easy task. But amazingly, my Grandad, Grandma, Mum and I all managed to work reasonably well to get it completed. Now bearing in mind – IKEA flat packs are designed with causing arguments in mind – and let’s just say my family likes to argue, one would only assume that when you put the two together, with the added bonuses of hunger, illness and old age that it could only be a disaster… Ye not!
I was actually amazed, and thankful. It wasn’t easy putting the bloody thing together, and why the bed slats don’t come pre-rolled up I do not know! Although I now do realise why someone may be willing to pay £55 (the price quoted to me by the nice man in IKEA) to have their things put together by someone else!
However, I am slightly disgruntled at IKEA because they put in some wrong bits for the bed and my bookcase, and I have some horrible rough edges! Without over-complicating it, it’s the bit that you’re not meant to see on the wood, and they only included bits where you could see them when they were correctly positioned. So I’m going to have to find a way of fixing that!
Moving in a slightly different direction, a thought!
Why do people insist on sending Roses to the one they love?
Now this thought came to light a couple of weeks back in Biology, and it turned into a miniature debate. You see, I see that roses are quite possibly some of the worst flowers to give someone. Firstly they smell disgusting, secondly they are all prickly, thus causing pain to the person who you’ve given them to; and finally, it’s completely unoriginal!
My friends Charlie W and Emily insisted that I was wrong; Roses are nice tokens and that they are beautiful flowers and that they are ideal to give to someone you love as a token of your desire.
Now you see to me, that makes no sense. If you want to look at the flowers in a poetical sense then the fact they are thorny could be said to represent the hardships of love, and how it’s hard thing to achieve; it could also represent beauty as something which has its drawbacks – but even so why on earth would you give someone a foul smelling flower that is bound to have some thorns left somewhere on them, as a token or symbol of love!
It’s crazy!
Tulips, those are reasonable flowers, although I have to say if anyone ever feels like buying me flowers, buy me some Lilies – yes I do know they are symbolic of death – but they’re my favourite, and they won’t cause me any pain should I choose to hold the thing!
More importantly, I hope Emily and Charlie will now remain content that they’ve got a mention – especially Emily as I know she reads my ramblings quite often!
As for now I think I will save anything else for Friday – when I shall hopefully have my own internet! Although, I’m going to have to lay out some wiring around the house to sort it all out! Ahh.
Also I will remind you all in the next blog too, but next week “The O.G” magazine (I came up with the name, it was meant to sound something like the O.C so all of us Overton people can pretend we’re actually far more exotic and cooler than what we truly are) will be on sale on Monday… I urge you all to purchase one, not just for Jess’ “Happy Crazy Fun Page”, or any of the other brilliant pieces of relevant news and articles, but for my contribution in the area of Politics! Amazingly I limited myself to just one A4 page!
More information about that in the next Blog!
Thanks,
Samantha.
(http://www.thesamantha.co.nr)
Today has been a rather bizarre day; despite it feeling odd, and many things seemingly wanting to go wrong; I’m actually in the best mood I’ve been in for seems like forever.
I started off the morning over-sleeping, and therefore rushing a shower, and trying to get dressed so I have enough time to drink my morning milkshake. Then on the way to school I slipped over on the grass (luckily no one saw), but I ended up with mud all down me, and feeling horribly wet. I have to admit though, although it wasn’t a particularly painful experience, it’s most gymnastic-type movement I have made in years! I went flying horizontally through the air… Brilliant!
Then I had Chemistry… Well, as usual not particularly well! It’s a failure on all accounts, and I’m actually cacking myself at the thought of the January exam. I seem to be averaging an “E” on everything I do – par the Stoichiometry, which was a U – so that has definitely got to change.
After that I had a free, where I completed some History work. I then volunteered to help out the Librarian lady; who for years I was convinced hated me… I realised quickly how much I wanted to sit and read. I actually miss just having the time to waste a Saturday doing nothing but sitting up in my bed, head in a book, being immersed into a world within my head. I miss that feeling when you get when you reach the end of a chapter and you’re left in amazement, and excitement for what’s to come.
Following that I had double Psychology; which was good. We didn’t do much, but it was good nonetheless. However, I found out that the school computers have once again broken my Memory Stick. It’s ridiculous; one would have imagined that there would be something in place or some sort of measure to protect the computers from viruses, but apparently not!
Lastly I had History. I think I can honestly say History as a whole is my favourite subject; I’ve been a “Science Geek” since as far back as I can remember, but there’s something about History that fascinates me even more than Atomic Structure, and brilliance of bonding. Above all, it’s a subject which I can have a good ramble in; and even if I don’t voice my thoughts in class or write them all down, I’m having “Mind Debates” about most things.
But seriously, today has been a brilliant day. I just feel so elated, and I’m not quite sure why. Like Prefect Duty earlier, I just wanted to dance and sing; and even the appearance of Sluggy couldn’t pull down my moods! Then after lunch, I held a meeting for a Student Democracy project which I’m co-running with someone; and even after twenty minutes of shouting at a collection of highly irritating Year Eights, I was still smiling.
I feel brilliant, and I love it!
As for the rest of this week; it’s been the usual mix of madness. As you’ll probably be aware now, I moved house on Monday. I can still say my room is an utter mess; but then again I haven’t got my bed frame or my bookcase from IKEA yet. I’m actually quite excited about the bookcase (but I think I’ve already mentioned this); but even so, an excuse to buy more books, and build up an impressive collection. Although, there’s a problem…
You see I have a few first edition Harry Potter books, and because they are first editions I’ve concluded that hopefully in the future they may be worth something; so they’re wrapped up in plastic bags away from the evils of dust and the ability to be damaged by me spilling water over them or something. But I can’t really have books in a collection of different bags on my bookcase without it looking untidy – a look I’m trying to avoid – so I have to decide on what to do there.
What a dilemma!
Other thoughts which have occurred to me since the move; Cupboards!
I’ve already explained this to a couple of people during a Free Period the other day, and I’m pretty sure that those people (Camille and Louise mainly), think I’m actually going more senile than they thought. You see in my previous houses the Kitchens we’ve had have been pretty rubbish; and horribly and pointlessly small to be of actually any major use. I mean cooking a dinner for more than three people was a near impossible task!
So now I have a kitchen which one can move about it, sit in, and actually prepare food in; and as a consequence there are more cupboards and drawers. Now on Tuesday for about half an-hour I was a lone in the house, and I was having a wonder and a ponder, and I stood in the kitchen and realised how brilliant cupboards are! I mean, they’re so useful! What’s more, is that when you’ve just moved house you’re not quite sure where everything is, so I have an excuse to open them all, and have a snoop. It’s brilliantly good fun.
I know, you’re probably wondering about my mental health at the moment, but seriously, all is well. It’s just it’s amazing how you realise how useful things are once you have them (not to say I didn’t have cupboards and drawers in my old house); it’s just that now there’s more.
Yeah, I’m going to shut up here about the cupboards.
On a more serious note however, on Tuesday or was it Wednesday? Oh, I don’t know, but I found another sign of old age… A grey hair!
Now this isn’t the first, and nor is it the second; in fact it’s probably the twelfth I’ve come across over the years; but just because I’m seeing more of them, does not mean it’s more acceptable; if anything it’s the opposite. I’m seventeen, not seventy! But even that’s a little harsh, but you know what I mean. I’m not bothered about having grey hair when I’m older, I actually think it’s quite cool in its odd little way (don’t ask me to explain why), but when I’m ay in my thirties at least! Not seventeen, not when I’m not even out of School! That is just not fair.
Then again, I have to wonder what exactly is causing this early onset of old-age; and yes I’m fully aware that “going grey” is a sign of stress, but I don’t feel stressed. Yes, well this week hasn’t been the best, but that wouldn’t explain a fairly long greying hair now would it, seeing as hair grows something like .5 mm a day!
Well, maybe soon I will start to qualify for OAP discounts! Which probably wouldn’t be too bad, now would it?
I joke, I joke… That would actually be terrible. I remember about two years ago when I was fifteen I had a horrible nightmare about being thirty (at the time this was an extremely scary prospect, in fact it still is); and I scared myself. A parent (eurgh children), I was married (I disagree with marriage), and I was stuck in a job which not only bored me to death, but I couldn’t even progress anywhere with.
It’s not that I fear growing up, because actually I’m sure it’s going to be quite fun, and interesting (par the bit where I can’t get a mortgage because the previous generation have cocked everything up for everyone else). With any luck I’ll be doing a job I enjoy (and I can see myself becoming a teacher – not a plan of mine – but something which I oddly enjoy, and people keep commenting about. Hopefully I will still be sane – that’s a long shot – but I think I can maintain being at least somewhat level-headed.
What I fear mainly about growing up would have to be failing at what I want to achieve. I can’t stand nor bear the thought of being dependent, useless and going no-where. Equally, I don’t want to end up with children just for the sake of it – I’m not a child-friendly person; I lack the patience for it all, and I know I’ll probably be too controlling, which I would hate to be. Controlling parents have to be high on the list of things that annoy me; so I wouldn’t want to annoy myself!
Hmm, I dithered there!
Another thing about this week is that I’ve come to realise how much I enjoy writing. I was having a think the other day about how much time per week I spend writing; and I came to the conclusion that it was a lot more than I have ever actually realised. Even when I’m not writing for work, or for the blog I write to myself. I have these odd random moments of inspiration where a topic will come to mind, I will write myself a mini-essay (well, about two pages long), on all of my thoughts on that particular thing. Then if it’s not something like that, then it’s just the more general and other bits which I write; say when I’m annoyed or feeling oddly emotional (I had one of those moments last night – although that was more probably due to the fact I was looking at old photos, and somehow they always make me emotional) and then I write about that.
I know quite a few people just assume that I spend all of my spare time on MSN and Facebook not actually doing anything other than updating when something pops into my mind; but I am really. Quite often, just writing to myself, keeping track of things, or writing essays of thoughts down… One of which I think I will post next week as I think it’s quite good (even if I do say so myself).
Can’t you just tell I’m in the rambling, writing mood?
What’s more is that I’m still happy and smiling. I have a massive grin on my face that I just cannot explain… It’s moments like this when I wish that I wasn’t so bloody reclusive! But that’s another matter altogether, which I daren’t get myself writing about now!
Hmm, anyways, I have a weekend of revision to do – I need to do something to improve those Chemistry grades! I refuse to fail, even if it means spending all of bloody Christmas day (not that I care for the day) doing endless questions. Wouldn’t hurt to also revise Biology too, which also apart from being comparatively easier than Chemistry seems to also be a bit of a no-hoper. Hmm, not good!
I apologise for the length of this blog; but then again this is what they used to be like. Every week was a full on ramble, rant, and over-view of absolutely anything that came into my mind. But it’s those long-winded, often confusing and most probably pointless rambles that I enjoy the most; and what got me the few thousand views on my Myspace Blog that I got!
Enjoy!
Samantha.
(http://www.thesamantha.co.nr)
Plus, everyone smile! It’s the way forward. And a quote to finish this up:
“Very little is needed to make a happy life.” – Marcus Aurelius Antonius (121 AD – 180 AD)
What, a Blog? This can’t be can it…
Wasn’t I only complaining on Sunday about the lack of an internet connection for two weeks? Well; in that respect you would be completely correct; but if I were to be brutally honest, I don’t actually have the internet if you get my drift!
So back to the past couple of days…
Well, it’s been a bit odd. Waking up in one house, going to bed in another, and both are “home”; weird. Everything has been a complete mess; and I’m sitting in my bedroom (I finally have the computer in my room), and it’s a shit-tip.
Although saying that, I haven’t actually got my beloved Bookcase from IKEA yet! How sad is that, I’m actually excited about having a Bookcase; and I can’t wait until I can go out – Book Shopping – and then display the brilliant pieces of literature in my room!
What’s even weirder, is that yesterday whilst I was awaiting for my Mum and Grandma to finish at my old house, I just sat in the living room for a bit; and I thought about really odd things like colour of the walls – which is magnolia by the way – and how I like it! I mean, magnolia is like a shade of beige, and I like it! There really is an essence of cool within me… Somewhere!
As for this weather, eh? What tripe!
I seriously hate the winter, Christmas, and generally this time of year. I find it unduly depressing, and bitter that there really isn’t much joy in it for me. I suppose to some extent, one wouldn’t be wrong in labelling me “Scrooge”, but I mean come on… I just went outside, and froze to death; I wake up in the dark, to walk to school freezing cold to leave a few hours later even colder than the morning in the dark! What on earth is joyous about that?
Then bloody Christmas! Eurgh, don’t get me started on it; it’s a horrible tradition which lacks any meaning or significance what-so-ever. The religious aspect has no connection to me (and it’s a Pagan holiday anyway); then I’m often confronted with the argument “Oh, well, it’s just been too commercialised”, well yes… And what’s nice about that? Un-spontaneous bouts of affection and willingness to spend far too many hours with relatives who you barely know or like… No thanks!
It’s like Valentines Day. Utterly pointless in its meaning; and let me explain.
You see, if I were in a relationship, and Valentines came around the other person better not hope for anything, because I wouldn’t buy anything. I would however expect that the person who I deem to “love” and “care for” to be able to prove their love and happiness with me on their own accord; and not just wait until a day dictates that they should. It’s that spontaneity that I adore far more than just the robust conformity of un-thoughtful cheap gifts… No thanks!
The same can be said for Christmas. It’s all too false it has no meaning, not many people are Christians, and it’s not a celebration of anything. I would much rather not have the holiday, remain productive, avoid the Christmas stress, and just carry on as normal… That though, seems to be an ideal that not many people share.
Anyways, I need to make more of an effort sorting out my bedroom, as I said it’s a complete tip. Of course the first thing to get sorted yesterday was my Computer. I’m not quite sure why I bothered seeing as my actual computer doesn’t have any internet or anything really. Although I feel really geeky having my computer and my laptop in front of me. Like those programmers who have dual screens… Hmm, if only!
Samantha.
(http://www.thesamantha.co.nr)
Yes, that may be true! As I’m moving house on Monday, and my new ISP (Sky) have cocked up the broadband order - which has resulted in me shouting at them for over an hour - and I still haven’t gotten myself anywhere nearer to having my connection back. And Sky are meant to be enticing customers from Virgin; and now as a Virgin Customer I’m not impressed!
So I don’t actually know what I’m going to do. I’ve had to delay this blog because of all the packing - and oh my, don’t I have a lot of crap! I’ve spent the last two days packing away everything in my room - all the clothes, games, CD’s, DVD’s, books, folders, everything. As a result, I now feel like even more of an elderly person than I usually do. My back has completely gone; and I can’t bloody move!
Not good, not good at all.
On the other hand though, I will be moving house - and as I said before, I actually quite enjoy moving!
Back to this week… Well, just the usual. I had two Chemistry tests, one which I know I have failed, I got 47%! Shit, and the second, well the results are yet to be announced. Also I had a Biology test; and I don’t know. I revised, and I felt reasonably good before the exam, then once I opened up the paper, I quickly realised that I was a little out of my depth. Hmm, well I’ll see I’m guessing on Monday or Tuesday.
Everything else seems to be good too; and it was really nice, Friday night I had one of the best sleeps ever. It was topped off by a really nice dream; but it’s so rare (for me) to wake up feeling so happy, and good!
Well, I hope maybe during the week if the School Internet permits I’ll try and update the blog. How I’m going to survive without Facebook however, is a completely different story! Then again, I do have my mobile, and it will have to suffice!
Hmm.
Samantha.
(http://www.thesamantha.co.nr)
For the entire week, I have been sniffling and snotting around the place like a near dead zombie; and I’m fed up of it! I’m quite fond of the ability to breathe, seeing as it maintains my exist; so when that ability suddenly stops working efficiently, I’m not a happy bunny.
Moreover, I’m fed up of not being able to laugh without coughing, not being able to go in or outside without having a massive coughing fit, or have a conversation without yet another coughing attack!
To say the least, I’m not impressed. And as such, I think this week has pretty much been a reflection of that. I’ve been a moody cow - well, not too much of a change then! - even more tired than usual, and rather irritable, and annoying to be around… Even I don’t want to be around me at the moment! It’s not nice, and not good!
To add to this, I have three tests in School next week - one Biology and two Chemistry tests - and I’m moving house! It’s an actual nightmare. I love moving house (and I know that sounds odd), but it’s just bad timing; and I can’t actually be arsed to even attempt trying to clear out my bedroom. Even on a “good day” - which only exist after Mum has ferreted around and polished a bit - it’s still a complete mess! How I’m going to box everything up, I do not know!
However, there is then again the prospect of arranging myself a new bedroom; which to be honest, is the most exciting thing! I love interior design, and the idea of making a room from nothing; I’ll blame BBC day-time TV from when I was younger for that - Changing Rooms, was amazing! I’ve been planning out the layout of everything, and I think I have it all mentally planned out… But one thing which is often overlooked on TV programmes is the position of wall plugs! And I actually don’t know where they are which is a major conundrum, as I might have to rearrange everything around again so I can have my computer, TV and all the other electrical equipment plugged in.
Talking of bedrooms, yesterday I want to Ikea.
I actually love Ikea, and I would happily move into to their show-rooms; everything always seems so ideal. I was also looking forward to the trip, because I would be looking at beds and stuff which I’m buying for myself; and a bookcase! So I was relatively happy, and excited.
So why then was it such a ghastly experience?
I don’t think it helped that I wasn’t feeling particularly in the mood to spend the day with the family. Anyone who knows me, and I’ve ever spoken to regarding them, will know I’m not a fan of them. Yes, I love my family, but we don’t click. No one seems to get along with one another, and it’s all a very horrible mix of colliding personalities. Also, I’m not good at shopping with other people; if I need to buy something for myself, say some clothes, or even a folder for school, I would much prefer to go on my own. I’m more efficient that way, and I suppose the only person I can argue with is myself, which makes things better and easier.
Hmm, so yes, yesterday was not good. I did however decide on a bed, and some other items (It’s going to amount to about £180!), but it wasn’t enjoyable. I think mainly it just comes down to how I can’t stand other people making assumptions and decisions for me.
Hmm…
Anyways, that’s pretty much it for now. I have loads of revision to do; and I need to actually prove to my Chemistry teachers that I’m not a complete nitwit! I’ll probably blog in the week if anything interesting happens!
Samantha.
(http://www.thesamantha.co.nr)
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